Just a heads up: I'm returning to that peculiar habit where I confide in this tech-whiz blog where everyone can see or rather read what I type. It is forming into a detrimental procedure by which I punch in every key of the computer to embody the amount of loss and confusion that I find myself walling into. I should say that I have dug my own grave in this whirlwind of emotion that I get myself into. For a month I have tried various attempts to lift my spirit. It might not have worked out in the best of ways, but it had definitely given me the introspect to view how gullible a human being can be and at the opposite end; how much insensitivity another could contain in themselves. I can't fathom the fact that the special spark that glowed was actually something synthetically deceitful.
The candle that I thought would continue illuminating the dark morphed into another that stained my vision to produce pre-mediated thoughts and hopes concentrated with so much falsity. I have not ever indulged in turning to an online 'journal' where I would pen(or rather key) in feelings but I guess I am slowly giving in. I did not realize that we humans could be capable of emancipating such raw emotion(love) until I found myself falling through a colossal borough.
You have taught me how to care, how to love. You have also taught me to feel death. Do I feel irony in the air? Pretty much so, I fear.
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